that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
