So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
