I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
Its about making memories worth repressing
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Randomize
