we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
