Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
