handjob tips. give me some.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
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