covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize