I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
Randomize
