i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
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