So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Randomize
