I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Randomize
