I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I wear drunk well.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize
