Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I'm gonna fight the coyote
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
