If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
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