I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
Rumble strips road head = magical
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize