i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
