its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
i may or may not be watching the land before time
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Randomize
