the condom got lost in my hair
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Randomize
