Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
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