whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
