Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
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