why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Randomize
