i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
someone owes me an orgasm
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
