i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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