windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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