dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
