Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
