YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
