You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
