i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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