whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
where am i from again
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
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