i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
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