Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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