In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
There's always time for handjobs
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
