ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
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