Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Randomize
