Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
