Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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