After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Randomize
