Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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