How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Randomize
