Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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