That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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