he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
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