I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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