i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Randomize
