i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
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