i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
