I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I can't turn off my feet"
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Randomize
