is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Randomize
