I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
Randomize
