Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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