Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
