Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
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