It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
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