I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I smell stomach acid.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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