I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
