I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
