It's like God shit irony all over that family
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Just puked most of my soul out..
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize