we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
Is it because I queefed?
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
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