it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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