I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
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